Snacks and more

So schools out for Summer and because I try  to simplify my life I have the goal to purchase child friendly snacks for the summer.  So we walk into  Walmart  Neighborhood Market with my list of things to purchase. I love the Neighborhood Market because its cheaper than the other grocery stores but it still gives you that small town feel . And it has a larger selection of foods.  Sometimes I go to the Super Walmart too because there is nothing like buying milk and some cute leggings  all at the same time . 🙂

I try to purchase food for two weeks because I frequent Wal-mart so much the people have started speaking to me by first name and yea I guess that’s ok if you like that sort of thing .  But since my husband is away in training for the Air force I don’t have time to send him there for last minute things so my lists have to be precised. Anyway I have a small list of things I need and since Wal-mart has those consistent falling prices I can get more for just a small amount of money and its usually fresh because of their consistent turn overs .  My first summer trip there we needed cheese, water, juice, crackers and then kid friendly foods. Thank God Wal-mart has cereal on a Summer Sale because its too hot for waffles  in the Summer.  I also needed to purchase snack foods,  lays potato chips,  oreo cookies , goldfish crackers, cheezits, koolaid jammers , and because any meal can easily be made by this we desperately needed Knorr pasta and rice sides.

Now I have two sets of children the  really greedy group and the super greedy group.  My super greedy group likes fresh veggies and fresh fruit so we needed fruit as well. I typically frequent the farmers market but with the prices they have on fruit at wal-mart who could resists those cherries, limes and apples.

So everyone is frazzled in the summer when it comes to feeding their kids . I have learned to not sweat the small stuff and prepare. It is true that my children may go thru a bag of cherries in one day and eat all of the twenty count of  lays in two days or half a pack of oreos in 30 minutes but its all in how you prep your family.  Kids like routines , rituals and rules.  So remember those 3 words and enforce them. First things first nothing is served unless you’re all clean. Breakfast comes first , its summer so cereal is a staple for us .  If camp is not on your schedule for the summer put your kids on a schedule . The more occupied they are the less they think about eating .  We typically eat lunch on the run , one of our favorite stops is Chickfila . We don’t always get kid’s meals because those can be pricey for 3 children on a daily bases but their menu is so vast that we can make a lunch off one meal. We love their salad’s and soups too .

We generally have one snack a day and there are those rare occasions that I am in the middle of blogging that the kids will sneak food and in those times I always have bottle water and baby carrots or even a good bag of lays chips somewhere handy. A few days out of the week I have some special things that must be done and I don’t get those opportunities to cook like marinating things and frying stuff or baking things . In those times I can always depend on Knorr pasta or rice sides. I can steam chicken breasts and add tomatoes or carrots to any of the sides for an amazing dish in just under 30 minutes give or take .

When school was in session we usually had a snack before bedtime but its summer and we need more rest in the summer because we have more sunlight . We eat later and we eliminate the snack for the night thus keeping more food in the house for the next day .  And less starving tummy’s for the morning . Somehow the earlier you put them to bed the longer they sleep . I learned this that one night I let the kids stay up passed midnight and they got into everything in the house and then woke up at 6AM.

Summer Rocks , and so does Walmart

Loving Life

Tesha

And Guess What…Nobody Cares

So recently I took a media fast.  There were so many stories surfacing about shootings, murders, robberies and more that I couldn’t rest at night. I spent many nights thinking about those individuals involved, reading their facebook pages, looking at their pictures , trying to see what went wrong. And I have this one friend , we can read one line of a news report and we are emotionally involved in that families life for months. Currently we are grieving for a family that we know but not that well , and when I say grieving we have stayed up all night wondering what went wrong. So yea, I’m too involved . It’s probably something I inherited from my mother, either way I needed a break because I have my own life too.

Well yesterday I decided to open up my browser and read . I don’t just read the stories , I read the comments associated the stories. Why ? Well there is always a cousin, a close friend to the family that will comment and then you will know a portion of the family that wasn’t written in the story. So I came across two stories yesterday one involved a white lady and her daughter that were beaten by this black male and lady because they went to a restaurant and their chicken was cold.  Well the video started when the lady ( the black lady ) comes around the corner and starts to punch the other lady ( white lady) in the face and then the white lady’s daughter gets out of the truck to help her mom . Who wouldn’t help but there is this black male there and he pushes, or punches the young girl in the face and then the tape ends.  I scroll to the bottom of the page to read the comments because as a human I am both tickled ( bc there was no sound and you can add your own words to videos, yeah my sense of humor takes over a lot  ) and mortified. Like what could the woman have said to them to get their temper up so much that they chose to fight . It had to be more. Needless to say they interviewed the attackee ( not a word huh ) and not the attackers and her response was , they need to be placed under the jail.  Sympathy was coming from everywhere. Everyone was on the side of the business owner and of course no one came to the defense of the people that were fighting . I thought well… what could the business owner have said to them to push them to the point of violence it couldn’t be just about cold chicken.

 

Then I moved on to the local story of a bank robbery in the small town of Mantachie, MS.  Mantachie is a small town just East of where I live and the beginning of our family line . So I thought who would go to such a small town to rob a bank not only was there a robbery but the suspect shot and killed a teller and eventually she took her own life.  What could have happened to  have initiated such a terrible crime in such a small town . And then I scrolled down and read the comments ,  the suspect was full of love , she loved hard, she was a great person an asset to the community .  I was shocked even more when our local news story covered a story on the suspect.

I had to do my research at this point because I cannot remember any stories in the past that involved anyone of color that was given the same sympathy. I read on comment on the the Philandro Castro case that said …he had it coming. Who says that about an innocent person whose life was taken in front of a small child because of a busted tail light? When the tapes were released of the baby talking to her mother there was no big out pour of compassion toward that baby girl or the fact that for years to come she is going to suffer.

And then there is Bill Cosby . No I don’t think it is any way a good thing that he has drug and raped women . But at the same time why did they wait so long to tell it?  I mean they had decades to tell this information . And at the same time in real time women were popping out of everywhere telling about the sexual harassment they endured under Donald Trump, the president of the United States. Now since he’s been in office yes we have had information about his Russian prostitutes but nothing on those women and guess what no one has really said anything about that . Remember those women’s rights marches that they had across the country and people calling them idiots for marching … and then the marches died down . And then Shonda Rhimes spoke out against Cosby and I was reminded of her bleached skin and the fact that she has an entire series centered around a woman who is screwing the married President . I guess its only right to commit adultery when its mutually agreed upon even though its still wrong.

Meanwhile our community is still killing each other . We are still making a large impact in the prison system.  We are still not supporting our own . (Remember Willie Lynch and refer back to my comment on Shonda Rhimes. )We are still leading the way in health issues, obesity , unemployment , we are behind in education ,  we are still living in poverty , police are still killing us, the justice system is failing us . We are the leading consumers but we are failing at being a brand and guess what nobody cares. Its time to wake up.

 

I care!

 

Loving Life

Tesha

 

o

The Church…

I am a church girl. I was born raised and given my very first job to serve in the church . My parents both were in ministry before I was born and decided to pastor a church well before I or my brothers were born. If we don’t know anything we know about church. My parents took a small salary from church a little over $50 a week . Which in the early 1980’s still wasn’t enough to take care of a family . My Dad was already employed and is still employed at the same company . Eventually my mother became a stylist . We grew up pretty comfortable in the 1980’s and 1990’s.

My father’s message never changed , along his journey in ministry he has always preached an ever increasing faith message . But life increases you , you move from level to level . That is a normal cycle of life. We moved from an apartment to a house , from a three bedroom to a four bedroom and from a 4 bedroom to a 5 bedroom.  Nothing changed but his job title and status. And eventually that $50 a month that he received from the church had dwindled to $0.

And then the 2000’s hit and the internet became popular. So did the prosperity movement . Well the prosperity movement was not something that was new to us … we had heard this message from way back when he was making that $50 a week as a Pastor. Yet as my father grew in his company the message of prosperity was attached to his life. And we didn’t mind , as a matter of fact we still don’t mind. But here lately there has been so much propaganda about Pastor’staking tithes to live off  and I felt it my need and position to address such. Remember my first job was to serve in the church, I became the executive administrator for our church . It was my duty to answer the phones , book our pastors for ministry, do the television shows and lastly I had to file the weekly offering.  I collected the envelopes after they were empty and filed them . I can assure you with my knowledge of what people actually give in the offering it would not be enough for me to purchase my rover and pay it off.  With what people give there is no way we could buy a house or pay a mortgage. Church finance is cyclical .  One Sunday its up and one Sunday its down and forget the mid week services. This is why we have fundraisers and many services. And just think if you don’t decide to give there is someone else that has decided not to give too. We work directly off donations and faith that there is someone that is willing to sow their money for kingdom work. And if you are a new church chances are their is no money saved, there is no stash of hidden money set aside for the pastor to take a trip to Mexico.

Churches are charged lights per square footage , they are charged gas per square footage, churches are also charged a different commercial fee for cable or internet. There are big expenses that go into larger churches, not just lights water and gas but you also have to have regular things like envelopes, paper towels, toilet paper , light bulbs . And we are also are prepared to hosts  weddings and funerals all free. And when someone needs their light bills paid or rent to be caught up we are that person they call . But no one complains about that .  We have to pay musicians and sometimes praise and worship singers , however unless your Dad is not the pastor you will probably get paid to be the administrator. We are the first to be judged when someone child is bullied or killed but when we invited them to church they denied the offer.

Each summer we give an open invitation for youth events and camps. They come to those for the free back to school supplies , we invite them back to Wednesday night church events and they come twice …yet we are to be blamed for situations that we have reached out to help with . The church is blamed for not going outside the four walls but no one is ever blamed for not wanting to attend. Now who’s wrong me for offering you the gospel or you not receiving it .

 

I may write a book on this subject. I digress

Going to Church on Wednesday and still

loving Life

Tesha

 

 

 

 

What’s New…

I’m sure you guys are wondering what is new in Tesha’s boring life so I decided its time to give you an update. My life has been successfully BUSY since my husband left and every week brings about a new adventure.

Last week marked the end of training  for Anthony , we watched him graduate, run and salute. It is very interesting all the things a spouse must learn while they are away and there are so  many rules , so many regulations. At one point I felt like I was on a television show and any moment someone would say … ,”And cut.” Yea I’m still waiting for that . Who knew that after living with this man for 7 years he knows how to make a bed, and fold clothes. He can also get dressed without me . He is currently off to his new assignment and I am here trying to decide family things until he returns …next year.  Well not next year but pretty close.

The kids are the same I introduced Pier to John Grisham …when I was a young reader his books always made me feel smarter. I hope he enjoys this hometown ( Oxford) Author’s stories. He’s still on page 16 which is alarming because this boy has a love for reading maybe he is just not into it. Either way he is going to read that book and the books there after.  Portland has become increasingly worse. I thought that since he would be turning four in a few weeks that he would possibly calm down , yet I am disturbed that he is sitting in the floor at this very moment tearing up paper. He sings loudly, talks in his sleep and now he cries a lot . In a fit of rage , or that moment he doesn’t get his way he breaks out in tears and it reminiscent of a new born baby needing a bottle or a diaper change . I sure hope he grows out of it . At night when he is sleep I search the internet on ways to nurture his appetite for fun . All kids don’t deal well with discipline so I wonder what his triggers are .  I wondered the same about Pier when he was that age , which made me start teaching him to read early but Portland , yea Portland must learn to read before Summer is over . That is next on my list.

The girls are growing up but if I knew girls screamed as much as mine do I would have declined the invitation to be a mother of daughters. They cry over the most simplistic things. They have an explanation for every tear and scream that is rendered.  You would think that me, being a woman too would understand but I have to confess they are too emotional to me. Currently they are into watching youtube and doing vlogs. I go back and look at these vlogs  and they are saying absolutely nothing …introducing dolls and their functions and such . Pk sings all day …her favorite song is Jesus loves the little children . I currently hate that song . She sings the song in 3 part harmony too and that’s tough because she cannot sing those parts at once they must be done separately which makes that song even longer and very ,very ,very dramatic.  Peach is still attached to me but shes’s crafty . She makes things out of nothing and they are a master piece to her .  We’ve gone thru a lot of construction paper, glue , ribbons and markers. She’s in the corner now making something for Sunday . Its probably just crumbled up paper but she says its a crown. I’ll post a picture when its done.

Peyton is over driving . After waiting a year to get his drivers license , I have to bribe him to drive. He is also a bottomless pit. Well they all are , I don’t remember eating so much as a kid . I mean every 15 minutes they are requesting food .  I possibly feed them more now than I did when they were infants.  As a matter of fact I know I do .

As for me I’ve read one book , I sleep a little less and I desperately need a pedicure. I have not been to the nail shop in 3 weeks because I decided to take a short cut and go to a nail shop that I had not been to but it was closer to my destination. The little inexperienced newly hired nail technician not only didn’t speak English she also didn’t cut my nail short enough . She didn’t file it either even though I told her 3 times to cut my toe nails down  and what happened next…my nail cracked and its painful. I shall return to the place I normally go to this week and in a hurry because I am ashamed of my own feet.

We are getting ready to see Anthony soon as well plan our summer vacation I am equally excited for both .  I’m enjoying each and every moment with the time I have with these babies because Summer moves fast and school starts soon .

Feeding kids and

loving life

Tesha

I Can Win Too

Sunday in our Christian Education class we talked about winning . I was able to take a mental journey on my own childhood when  winning wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was a professional loser.  I knew how to lose well and I wasn’t too sad about losing. My older brother, on the other hand had to win. It was a must that he won everything even if it meant that mid way through the process he changed the rules. I was the youngest child and eventually I was the middle child which put me in the place of being the peace maker and if winning made him happy, then it was okay with me that he won.

It was only until I went to school and was around children that were my own age on the same level with me that I knew that I was actually better than I originally thought . But I still used losing as my advantage at home and around the youth group at church . See if you are a chronic loser you can learn how to win when someone older than you decides to , “help,” you win . When you are a chronic loser you never have to swing a bat, run to a base, steal home, you never have to play dodge ball, you never have to really play kick ball , you never have to walk , tie your shoes, fix your own plate , you never have to color and you never have to write . All you have to do is to remain handicap and someone is willing and ready to do it all for you .  I was a professional at this but it was not my personality or a part of my genetic DNA to continue in this folly . I was smarter than I let on and one day , all of a sudden I randomly won a game of checkers, I beat them at UNO , they figured out that I could read, write and color. And one day I decided that I could walk and not be carried.  And guess what …we were no longer as tight as we once were because now we had to compete. Most of all I knew I could win .

Checkerboard game from a birds eye view. Stock Photo - 28451470

Because of my new found independence I had to learn how to compete in life.  I wish I had learned this more when I was in my adolescent years because my coping skills as an adult would be better but I actually learned how to compete in life while in college. I had been in a few pageants before I entered college and for some reason I wanted to be in the pageant but I hated the judgement, the critiques, and I hated to lose. So I had to learn to enjoy the process and learn what makes me a winner.  And from that point forward rather I won or lost it was the process that was the most enjoyable.

Pageants are just like life, you are judged from the moment you walk on the stage. You are judged by the way you walk , the way you talk, the way you listen and the way you comprehend.  Most importantly you are judged by how much fun you have during the process. Isn’t that funny that you are actually judged by whether or not you are having fun.  Life is a lot like this , sometimes good things don’t happen for us in the time that we need them to happen because we are too busy complaining about our situation instead of getting joy that God has given us this time . Until the peace of mind comes and then enjoying the process that situation that you are facing will be a situation that is unfavorable.  The right mind produces the right results.

winner photo: winner of my prize winnerofmyprize.jpg

 

In life we compete for everything , there is not often a grand prize with flowers a crown or a parade but the reward is knowing that we have reached a goal , and when you’ve finally reached a goal and it is without kicking and screaming you’ll have time to enjoy the prize.   Don’t become the person I was and be the professional loser, instead use the positive side of it , always learn from your mistakes and win.

Winning

Loving Life

Tesha

And then there’s Thursday …

Some days I wake up in the morning and everything is smooth sailing . The day goes by fast , the kids are well behaved , breakfast , lunch and dinner moves fast , they play themselves down and bath time comes and they go right to sleep . And  then there is Thursday. I don’t why but every Thursday morning I cannot seem to even muster up the energy to even dress myself.  I have one thing that must be done on Thursday and the fact that I have had 7 days from the previous Thursday never seems to be enough time to meet that deadline and because of that I feel like I cannot make anything happen on Thursday  . My reasoning doesn’t mean that I do not have the ability to do it its just the fact that my mind is telling me that I do not have the time to do it. When in fact I have ample time and a pattern to make everything go smoothly,  its all about how you think about it .

I was riding through the neighborhood Thursday evening , trying to wear the babies down and doing research. I noticed some new construction and I admired the designs and their ability to build the same house and make it look completely different. I noticed the vast differences in the ages of my neighbors from those that were at retirement age to those that were freshly out of their twenties just settling into life. I started to think what was that one thing that put them in the position that they’re in right now? I remembered back on the previous Wednesday night , when our pastor gave us a passionate lesson on the mind. As a man thinks so is he. She went on to say that if you think bad things , bad things will happen . If you focus on the wrong things , the wrong things will happen to you . Positive thoughts produces positive results.

As I drove back to my house , I said someone had a vision for this neighborhood, and someone had a vision for the construction of the homes and how to situate the lots. They knew people would purchase lots and build homes and after they had lived there for a while, there were people in place to price these homes and sale them  . The same homes that were sold in 2004 for $250 k have now tripled in price and that same 4 bedroom and 3 bath house built 20 years ago on the same street in the same neighborhood can be sold for $610k. And it was someone in place ready to make that purchase sometimes in 1 year or 1 week .  Someone , some place in some previous time had a vision and expected for this to happen . And because of their positive thoughts they more than likely had positive results.

Which lead me to think about all those times I was up late at night thinking about whether or not I would ever get married. That one person who didn’t like me . If I can fit into that cute dress I just bought and whether or not I should be nice to my husband .  And if I could finish my Thursday project on time . Instead of thinking about things I could actually do to improve my life. Facebook was created from good thoughts, so was myspace but someone’s vision was bigger and always evolving.  Mcdonald’s was created from a great thought but someone’s vision was ever evolving causing it to go above and beyond. Starbucks came from a great thought so were cell phone’s , fidget spinners,  reality television, so on and so forth. Don’t allow your small thoughts trap you from a successful future.

This week I am only thinking great things about Thursday! My thoughts will evolve into something beautiful .

Loving Thursday and Life

Tesha

Walking and Talking…

I have never been a morning person. I don’t ever remember waking up in the morning and being excited about it …even when it was Christmas I always wanted just a hour or two longer to marinate in the covers. And even if I did happen to wake up in the morning with the alarm I want quiet time to enjoy the thoughts I will have about that awkward dream I just had before I woke up ( I always have strange dreams before I wake up) . And then I need to contemplate whether or not I’m going to bathroom right away and I need to pray and command my day . There are several important things that I need to do before I just wake up. But since I have kids , they do not respect that time I need to wake up.  And honestly I cannot believe I actually birthed anybody who does not wake up like me.

When I had my first two kids they were calm and quiet much like I am in the morning and then I gave birth to the next set in my 30’s . You would think that with age the kids would be more calm and relaxed. Well they are not and the go to sleep and wake up the same way . LOUD. I have never in my life heard so much screaming and crying as I have in the last 6 years. And I guess because they are so close in age …they cry about everything and I mean everything .

Growing up I was a pretty independent , very quiet , no drama kinda kid . Give me a book a good movie and some food and I was fine. I never cried , I hardly complained and I ate whatever was placed in front of me . Most of all I always went to sleep when I was told and cooperated with most or practically all the things I was told to do…I had one problem, I was very clingy . I needed to know where my parents were at all times. AMF as I am writing this I saw my Dad walk thru the kitchen and disappear , NO LIE, I am wondering where he disappeared to, and when he comes back near me I’ll be sure to ask. So it didn’t come as a surprise when my second daughter took on that clingy blessing.

I have to be honest at first it was okay that she was constantly looking for us and wondering where we were . It was not out of the ordinary that she would hug us if we disappeared. She tells us she loves us often and she gives hugs all day . Shes kinda like a cat…she’s always somewhere just looking at me smiling . I’m pretty sure that’s payback for how I do my parents.  BUT the rest of this isn’t payback its just misery.

My kids go to bed hungry and wake up hungry. They go to bed irritated , they wake up irritated. And they are loud. VERY LOUD. EXTREMELY Loud. Now I ask you , my friends please tell me who I need to talk to in order to clear this up. Is there a doctor I need to take them too, Is there a device that I need to wrap them in for bed . Is there a remedy to keep them quiet in the morning ?

LOL

Up Early Still

Loving LIfe

Tesha

What’s New

On my last blog I was so upbeat about what was happening around here while my husband is away. But today I am not in that same space of optimism . I am over this period of training . Really over it .  I thought to myself that he has experienced everything he has ever desired to experience since we have been married. He’s changed jobs twice to help our family and with each move and each process I have been patient and encouraging. And now with a positive mind I am ready for all this training to be over and we have another 5 weeks or so after this …insert violins and honey buns and chocolate syrup. Yup I’m emotional . ;( And maybe I deserve a vacation on some beach with a lot of money.

On a positive note …schools out for Summer. I’m preparing the kids for a new schedule. Pray for me that I get this new schedule down pact before Dad comes homes. Anthony leaves the day before Portland’s 4th birthday and we will celebrate the week before. He will miss our annual 4th of July cook out …no shrimp for him .

We experienced a tearful graduation ceremony for PK . I know it won’t be the same when he returns but it was an experience that was worth all the tuition that was paid out this year. My godson graduated from high school , I feel like he grew up but we didn’t . Two very exciting moments that we were able to share this past week. I get tearful typing this because I know that next year will be the year that my son graduates from high school. Life is moving so fast and we have to prepare for the change that life brings us daily.

And now for me …I joined a few facebook pages dedicated to military spouses, (I really get tickled reading how much men miss their wives, and need them home). Who knew they existed its like a different world. They are devoted and on top of everything that is going on week by week  . I am used to meeting new people but I got to tell you I feel out of my element. Like I’m not a part of the group and all the information they give makes me have anxiety. I get so nervous about the things that I should have already done but have not done yet. So I’ve had to shut down and watch movies .Which brings me to the Shack…why do people like weird movies ? I had to turn that off because my mind was not prepared for the people oh well I will restart it during the day when I’m prepared . Did yall know Minnie from The Help plays in a lot of movies? Kinda like Oprah who plays Sophia in all of her movies. I love Sophia though.

Continue to pray for me and pray for my friend as she edits all my posts. LOL

loving life always

Tesha

Love Yo Self

This past week end we celebrated Mother’s day . Mother’s day is one of those holiday’s that are often overdone or not acknowledged well. ( I am totally over the Facebook posts tho …for real )I traditionally don’t celebrate Mother’s Day for myself because I’ve never really felt like a mother . And when I was a single Mom I really never acknowledged Mother’s Day unless responding to my own Mom . But this year I thought about something as I received a Mother’s day card from my husband …I should not have one day to be celebrated I should be ceremoniously  celebrated daily. Every time a child says …Mommy I should be given some sort of music playing in the background, there should be flowers thrown at my feet after all I delivered a fully formed human out of my body from a place that only dispenses liquids. I along with all other mother’s am a super hero. There is an invisible S on my chest that stands for Supercalifragilisticespialidocious or something like that .

I knew my mother was sick with my youngest brother while she was pregnant with him .I watched her snatched body morph from tiny to mighty (MOM I couldn’t think of a better word) . I watched as her light skin changed by hormones, I watched as the pregnant hair left her head and the moment she had to begin again . Yet she seemed to love us. She wanted the best for us and after we were adults and had our own kids she loved them too. She’s definitely worthy of music, roses and more , even for generously and selflessly taking in my children as if they were her own . And at times during my pregnancies we walked thru those times together , I was sick , she was sick. I craved, she ate with me…that’s love.

And then I had my own kids. When I had the first two,  age got in the way of emotions. I cried a lot because of the new lifestyle that I was about to face  and the unwillingness to want my life to drastically change in the ways I knew they were about to change . And then I gave birth to my first daughter. She was late … to me she was the boys before her came three weeks before time and she waited to the absolute last minute to make her entrance in the world . I was one miserable chick. And by the time I made it to the hospital I was exhausted I wanted nothing more than for her to be out of my body and on here own . But it wasn’t just that simple. She came out and the room was completely quiet. I heard absolutely nothing. And then everything went fuzzy, I was blacking out but I knew I had two other humans that were waiting on me and needed me , not to mention that she needed me.  Every breath I took after that was for them . Every now and then I heard my mother speak in tongues and say Jesus. I knew she was praying and God was in control. In giving birth to my 3rd child I could have lost my life from giving life. The moment I heard her breathe for the first time was the moment I regained my consciousness.

Experiencing all of that I thought , girl…you gotta love yourself.  Because no one can understand your struggle as much as you understand your own struggle . You are the only person that can and will appreciate the moments you have been through storms  . So the next time you are laying in bed on Mother’s day expecting breakfast in bed…get up and fix or make it happen . Buy yourself something daily…from me to me . Take yourself out because nobody is going to love you like you love you but maybe your mom and even she has a limit.

LOVING MYSELF

Tesh

Life Begins…Again

In November 2016 my husband pledged an oath to our country to help serve in the military. He had talked about joining a portion of the military even before we were married but after 7 years of marriage I didn’t expect it to come at this time in life. We are not the most patriotic people in the world, not saying that we don’t like the county in which we live but we don’t raise flags or anything like that .  However this was something that he felt he had to fulfill and being an Army brat himself , you can say it was in his blood more or less.

Most of my friends know how much my life drastically changed as my husband joined the military. For 6 years I have been an exclusive stay at home mom, although I’ve had side jobs here and there as well as working for my Dad’s church . I’m out often and in those times I’ve had so many people ask me …What do you do all day with those babies?My husband has been very inquisitive about my day to day a lot more since he has been gone.  I guess being able to talk and text daily made it easier to imagine my life rather than letters here and there .

Because he is away I don’t like to share a lot of things with him because I don’t want him to worry besides that I hate writing letters ( funny right ) and those five minute phone calls don’t allow me the opportunity to say enough. But in this time I’ve had a lot of opportunities to think just solely on me . And as wonderful as that sounds it can be a scary place if you’re not prepared.

So what have I been doing since he’s been gone. Well…the kids go to bed a little earlier but they also wake up a little earlier. We spend a lot of time in Wal mart …not because I need something but because I have the kids and I always forget what I came there for so lists have been made to make lists and to remember the lists that were made. I decided to be busier … starting a book club which didn’t go so well because they were all mom’s with difficult schedules. I’ll have to work on that .  My bath’s are much shorter and that time before my bath that I had just for me …yea not anymore. I never sit down to dress the kids anymore. I comb hair , wash faces and brush teeth all in one .  We leave the house earlier too and go …well to Walmart. The show’s I lived to watch after the kids have gone to sleep are now shows that watch me .

I’ve finally figured out what Port says at night and he can sleep alone. Pk can also sleep alone with little help and no correction . I’m still working on Carrington maybe she was nursed too long but she sleeps with me every night and even when she sleeps in her own bed she still manages to wake up in my bed .

Food is still top priorities in our house. No one ever gets full.  But leftovers have died in the fridge probably bc Anthony is not here to eat them . I’ve learned to buy things that they don’t really like but will eat bc its there and in turn it stays around a lot longer . Pier told me that I really don’t like the organic things I buy but  I continue you to buy them bc they hate it  and won’t eat it. And that is true. The kids still , take thing from especially P and no they still walk in my room and look at me every other hour. Not wanting anything but to stare at me , I am getting pay back for those times I did the same thing to my parents.

I fill the cars up each week . I’ve lost the bolt to the tag on the little car…Peyton made a bolt…Let’s just hope the rain doesn’t make is soggy because it is made with paper. Dad makes sure we get breakfast on Sunday mornings. Mom still makes eating pleasurable and she has added to her list of things she needs Anthony to do upon his return .  I thought I would have more time to blog or to write but I’ve had to be both mom and Dad so making time for that has been tough especially when my inspiration comes at 6 AM and I’m too sleep to move my fingers.

We have had two birthday’s and two holidays. I’ve learned how to keep it moving. Getting to know myself again is an amazing journey . In all I feel like this was an appointed time to allow this to happen this year . I am thankful daily for this experience.

 

Yet …Still, I love life

Tesha