Love and Relationships

Friday afternoon I had a conversation with my mother about relationships. Being a Pastor’s wife ,my mother has a lot of wisdom when it comes to relationships. She can sit down and tell you some things that will make you think hard about whatever decision you are about to make in reflection to relationships. The things that she shares are undiluted and although they are simple in words they are nothing less than the whole  truth.

Because she is so well versed in the course of relationships you can bank on the words that she and my father says about relationships. I’m 27 years old and some change but in that time I have never seen them say anything that has not ever happened. But why is it that relationships suffer so much. Why is there so much drama associated to relationships why does it seems like there are more break ups than make ups?

I started to think about my own upbringing . Looking at the demonstration of love that was in front of me was without question next to perfection. I watched my parents love on each other more than they fussed . I watched my parents love on us more than the talked harsh to us. I watched as we got into trouble for doing things that we were not supposed to do compounded with unconditional love and acceptance. I thought life was like this . I thought every one was the same way and then I started dating . And I realized everyone was not raised like me . And for me that was not at all okay. But because I was a church  girl I knew that there had to be exceptions to rules.

It was after my 3rd relationship that I realized …everyone doesn’t share love like I know it. And its ok …I guess it is it happens too often for it not to be okay, right  . But why is it like that ? Unfortunately in life there are times that love is not displayed the same way .  But fortunately there are plenty of examples of love in other things. I mean you can watch a Disney movie with your child and see the display of love you need to have in your relationships.  As women we feel love oozing out of our pores. We love everything that we come in contact with …usually. That’s why it is so easy for us to love the ugly creature that comes out of our body before it is really formed.

Men on the other hand try to be hard . And love is not shown in the way that we as women need it to be shown. Sometimes talk sounds like love to a woman but even those words that you are enjoying listening to aren’t love. Sometimes gifts, dinners, cards, seem like love but even that isn’t love. And lastly sometimes giving that person your most sacred treasure may seem like love and even with that you are left feeling empty , dirty and unloved.

Love is sappy, it is broad, it is to be cherished and not played with . It is a constant display of affection , it is respect and it is loyalty.  Love will never lie, love will never boast, love will never make you feel less than , love with never make you second guess, love is not inconsistent, love puts up with things that you yourself said you would never deal with, love says I’ll be there for you no matter what, love is never embarrassed, love is …with out condition.

And until you find that , love will never find your home. Let’s bring Love Back.

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Loving life


I Guess…

A lot of things are put into perspective when you don’t feel good. It is very true that you think about everything that you could have done if you weren’t down. If you’re hot you think about those days you complained about the air. If you are cold you think about those moments being in your grandmother’s living room with that one space heater that she purchased from well, the Suburbs of Hell. I mean there is never hardly a time that you are just thankful for where you are , when you are there. Isn’t that weird? I guess its life…Image result for thankful pictures


So when I suddenly got the flu on the week end that was my son’s birthday I thought about all the things we could do if I was well. I said as soon as I get up , I’m gonna take a bath, wash my face , brush my teeth , comb my hair , get dressed, go buy a birthday cake, some candles, and we would go to the movies. While I was sick my family was very nice to me, asking me am I feeling okay, would I like anything. I discovered that my husband can pick out clothes for the kids and he knew what to do with broom and a mop. Who knew?

But that moment I felt a little better, all the work I was required to do because I have made a commitment to be a Mommy and wife  and the law was enforced quickly and guess what all those warm thoughts of hugging and kissing all my friends ( babies) were short lived and I can’t even believe I said that I would take them anywhere , just kidding , well not really.

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I guess its life…!


Loving Life


My Married Week -Ends…

THINGS to take (1)

I had high hopes for married life. We had all kind of plans when we were just dating. Things we wanted to do and places we wanted to go and then we got married. At at the beginning of our marriage we had so much fun. Eating out, experiencing new things and then PK came and those Friday night visits to our favorite restaurants started to become few and far in between. And then the last two babies came and there were no more Friday nights. Our extra money after the last 3 kids came were spent on Diapers and milk.  It was a wonderful moment when Port turned 3 last Summer . It meant no more babies, no diapers, no formula and date money!

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But then as the kids were getting older there was more that they wanted to do . And then one day my oldest daughter told me she had friends.   How dare she become social and started having friends. And with friends , there were birthday parties, play dates and pretty soon we stopped thinking about our plans for the week end and started planning around the kids.  Last week after hours and doing things specifically for the kids and my husband , I wanted a night of rest.  And then my 16 year pops into my room at 8 looking for keys to go hang out with friends. I looked at my husband who was already in bed and said …we are too young, we have to do something with our life.

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Didn’t you imagine life would be so differently after marriage. We travel a lot and spend a lot of time exploring other cities its just when we are home that we try our best to be in bed by 8:30 PM . Isn’t that the craziest thing. And another thing in this adult life of marriage , we count up all the costs.  We calculate everything from what we eat to how much we eat. We have adult bills. Why would we pay $65 for a night at the movies in a public place, where we cannot lay down and relax and we are consistently worried about those that enter the movie.  Which brings me to the fact of wondering why are the movies that expensive? Fun should be FREE!

This year we have planned 17 dates in 2017, so far we have managed to have one with a tag a long but it counts right. Hopefully we will balance dates, play dates, birthday parties and sporting events to have that alone time with us.  Pray for us …


Loving Life