Dear Baby …Parents,

There is not a day that goes by that babies are born into the world. Its a beautiful thing to see yourself reproduced , once you look at that sweet ugly newborn face you think of all the places they can go in life. You want to make their life better than yours, even if you had the best upbringing. Having a baby can be the sweetest most difficult thing that you can ever do in your life. The thing that makes it scarier is when you do it alone. How do I know this? I’ve done it.

Life brings about maturity, lessons learned, situations handled. But don’t you wish that you knew all the consequences before you made a risky move? Having a baby is a risk, even more when you aren’t married. Why do I call it a risk, well you risk gaining a lot of weight and never getting rid of it. You risk your opportunity to do everything in life you wanted to do before you had kids. You run the risk of losing your ability to work during pregnancy. You run a risk of losing your significant other because they are unable to live up to the responsibility of having a baby. You run the risk of having a cry baby, a sick baby, difficulties during pregnancy, difficulties after having the baby, no sleep, losing friends , family members disappearing, no baby sitters, no more eating alone, no more sleeping alone , did I mention you will never eat alone, yea you will never ever eat alone and lastly nothing else will just be your own. Once some little person claims rights to a place in your body , they claim rights to a position in your house and heart, forever. I don’t know about how you’re thinking but to me this is risky business and its not to be taken lightly.

The worse part of all this is the fact that one parent can check out and this is what we know as our new NORMAL! Yet this is not normal at all. Its not enough to have bragging rights that you have been there, its worse when you do not take care of the baby. How can you have a baby , never, touch or take care of it. You leave a woman to handle things because that’s her nature but it doesn’t make it natural.

When I was pregnant, I never really understand that he ( my husband) didn’t share the same bond I did because he wasn’t daily living with the fact that something was kicking, moving , and taking up space in my space. In fact during my pregnancies he was a different guy. More concerned about how to increase his money to take care of his additions rather than wondering why I couldn’t sleep at night. But once the baby’s were born I never had to tell him…you have to take care of them too. It was natural. If he had to carry all three at the same time so I could get out the car he would, its natural. What’s unnatural is when you don’t acknowledge that they are alive, being only referred to as a baby’s daddy or a baby’s mom.Its not natural to introduce your child without a father. Its not natural to have to have two parents to be made but only one parent willing to , “make ,” that child’s life. It’s not a single responsibility its a dual responsibility.

The saga has to end. Its not fun, its not a game ,and its not cute. Women stop giving men an open opportunity to treat you less than the wonderful person you were created to be. Men stop taking the opportunity to run, learn from other’s mistakes take responsibility. Don’t just post pictures for memories sake, make the memories. Procreating is supposed to be a wonderful experience but we have made it into risky business.