I feel like I am in a place where there are a lot of corridors and in each corridor leads to a different destiny. I’m 36 years old and I am so unfulfilled with where I am in life that I know its time for a change. I’ve made all kinds of wrong turns in the past from having a son at 21 and 25 till getting married quickly and having 3 babies in 3 years … yeah not quite the best decisions but yet I made them and here I am now. The pressure is on and I know I have to make the right decision. Failure is not an option
My mind has been wrapped up in yuletide(insert nice descriptive word of your choice) wood since the beginning of December. I had no plans for an elaborate Christmas although I was excited to spend my first Christmas in our new home. My three smallest children prayed each night for Christmas to come to their house. They asked for everything possible on television , from squishy sand to hershey kisses, they were not choosy and because of their innocence of course I said yes to all of their requests . My two big boys made lists of things too. Their list included things over $200 dollars and even included a brand new Infinity car with the option of bluetooth and that cool cord to export music from your ipod to your stereo. I had to remind myself that my son was just 14 and that cord…well I don’t even have that in my 2008 Land Rover…(it must be time for a new car…I’m eyeing a land Cruiser).
In the hustle and bustle of everything…my three year old kept me grounded in a weird sort of way. My ten year old son taught the three little children about what Christmas is about. I had to pat myself on the back because only through this will you know how well of a parent you have been…that and the thousands of dollars that I have spent in Christian private school. In our countdown to Christmas every night before bed and after we read our nightly devotion and just before our prayers she reminded me each and every night about what Jesus meant to her. And although most nights she thank Jesus for creating MIckey Mouse and Oreo Cookies …she always said thank you for giving your life just for us to have life. Okay so I know she doesnt’t understand exactly what she is saying but I do and it means so much to me that she is able to remind me.
The holidays has taught me a few things and one thing believe it or not is patience . Patience has always been a virtue that I have desired but have never acquired. I didn’t leave my house to go shopping in the stores but I did most of my shopping online and that was a test of my faith and will power to fight against prices that were not in the store and believe it or not the online stores sold out before the real stores…shocking ? Well…I spent hours and hours shopping online , I missed hours of cleaning and cooking just trying to make it to the right place at the right time. And every night for about two weeks ended in failure because I never made it in time. My frustration got the best of me and I ended up crying. I know you are saying why would you cry to shop…well I have 5 kids and it was important to me that they have what they desired for Christmas. My mother said one word to me and it made all the difference. I bet you want to know the word…RELAX!
I did just that …I relaxed stayed off the computer for a few days …talked to some friends spent time with God and slept well and one day just three days later I got up and went to my mac and made the order and I spend less that what I had planned to spend. The excitement was the moment I got the conformation text that I had all of my items ready for pick up the same day! God is awesome…I have a few other desires that I know God will fulfill I am just sitting back and RELAXING and Watching God work in my behalf.
Happy Holidays everyone the best is yet to come.