I don’t really like you

With a smile he greets her .  He leans in for a hug and she backs up and places her hand out to shake  his hand. His big smile diminishes to a half grin but who cares at this point its time to get the date started.  The restaurant is already selected and its now time for dinner. During dinner as he ordered chicken tenders and fries and as she orders the fish of the day and a Quiche, she can’t help but to notice the odd way he bites his lip and rubs his eyebrow as he talks to her. Is this a nervous habit or is he just weird . As the dinner is served and after he puts the napkin around his shirt, she realizes that she doesn’t really like him. And for the remainder of the dinner , she looks at the ceiling , the floor , checks her cell phone often , pretends that her food is too much to handle and constantly looks for the waiter just in the hope that this dinner will end just as quickly as it started. Heading to the their next destination , she talks about all the things that she has to do in the morning and how it’s so important to get some good rest. Suddenly she reaches for her phone in a panic, she says its her boss sending her an email and that she must go because she has to get some work done before the morning.  And the date ends. She leaves and walks off and as casual and polite she says , ” call me.”

The next few days she tries to forget the date and promises to herself and her friends that she will never ever go out with him again. But even though she says that , she still politely answers his phone calls, replies to his wall post on facebook with kind thank you for the date , she answers his text messages and tells him to call her later on because she’s sort of busy but wants to answer him. He on the other hand takes this as if she likes and he tries to have another date with her. She on the other hand is just being nice but always has something to do . She just cannot bring herself to say , ” I don’t really like you . ”

We have all been in this situation and just like the examples I have used above you cannot see that the other person just doesn’t like you . Here’s what to look for when you want to know if the other person likes you . First things first , eye contact is very important, good conversation is also a great thing,  a date will never be cut short for work ( we’ve stayed up late for work), texts will usually have more words than , “thank you ,” or “call me later”, and last but not least everyone says thank you on replies on facebook!!!

Am I a Good Friend

From the time I was a little kid until I was a young adult I was taught the importance of what it means to be a friend. My mother would always instill in me the importance it was to show kindness to others, she would say you never know, one day you may need the person that you are mistreating .  And of course as a child I kind of listened but the understanding wasn’t really there. Also having grown up as a Pastor’s daughter I had to learn how to be friendly and sometimes in that case it was harder to just want to be nice.

I met my first best friend in church. We were close in age and she made me laugh. Not only did she bring me a lot of joy to me with her infectious laugh  , she being 2 months older than me , often gave me instructions on how to play games or just how to have fun.  She was the only person I remember spending the night at her house and one of the only person that I wanted to stay at my house . I met my second best friend in middle school. After meeting in a class we became inseparable.  I thought that we would end up going to college together and even living in an apartment together during college. But in  high school we went from being best friends to just being acquaintances. My last best friend that I have ever had , we met in high school in a biology class. She seemed like a breath of fresh air.  Even though I had two other very best friends she seemed like the one that I had the most in common with. There were times that we even dressed alike and didn’t even plan it . We would buy the same clothes, we had the same taste in music and we had uncommon passion for life and living life. It was nothing for us to wake up early and enjoy the sunrise as we headed to our favorite breakfast spot for chicken and biscuits. I felt like we were destined to be lifelong friends. And who would ever tear apart such a great friendship.

But just like the others before her, one day we just weren’t as close anymore. I remember that one day I just moved on . I didn’t break any bridges and never spoke ill of her we just weren’t close anymore. A few months after I left for college. I got caught up in myself and the things that I was doing that just for a moment I forgot what a great relationship we had  . Later on  I would often think about the emptiness that I would feel when there was not a person that share what was going on with my life. No one that I could pour details into and no one that could share with me or feel compassion for me or that I could feel compassion for or hear about the details of their life and laugh. Yeah I met other people and from time to time I felt close to some of those people but I always struggled with what it really meant to be a best friend.  And I questioned myself asking can I be a friend again?Have you ever thought of what it really means to be a best friend?

I think we often use the word best and friend together without really defining or living up to the definition of what a best friend is. I think that everyone is placed in your life for a reason and whether or not it’s for a lifetime or for just a moment those spaces of time where you call someone your friend should be the time that show the most kindness, loyalty and trust. Integrity is a key to being a great friend. Friendship comes without competition , or jealousy.

Friendship is a two-way street. If I help you out with your problems, listen to me and help me out as well. If I hold a secret  for you , hold a secret for me and show the same kindness that was shown toward you . Take the time to appreciate the people who you have in your life. Remember that you have to give and be able to receive.  Friends are few and far between so open up your heart and embrace a great friendship! Just so you know my best friend from high school and I still speak and talk at least 3 times a month , we may not be best friends but we remain good friends.

Finding the Right One

I don’t count myself as a professional relationship expert but in recent years I have had my fair share of hits and misses when it comes to the opposite sex . And if it has taught me anything its taught me what to really look for when trying to find the right one for me.

I think that everyone has been in the situation where they have felt that there was no one in the world that could possibly be their direct match or even if there was actually someone out there for them  where  would you find them. Now I do not have a scientific method to find the right one but I believe that I can definitely give pointers in finding the right one.

A few years ago I stumbled upon my husband .  The funny thing about it was that of all the men that I had met in that one particular year he was actually the last person that I saw myself married to. It wasn’t that he was ugly or any other thing it was just that I didn’t think that we would possibly be compatible and above all I just didn’t think that I wanted to give him a chance.  We met one day before my birthday in 2007 , it was a chance meeting . I actually thought that he was someone who I knew from a previous time . Or maybe he was someone who I had met in passing but for some reason he had a familiar face , as if he was a part of my life for some time. And that’s exactly how our relationship started out. We talked to each other as if we were old friends and for some time we were , “just friends!”

I never thought I would ever say this in my life but its good to  just be friends. In that time that my husband and I were just friends I really got to know him as a person. And we found out most of the most embarrassing characteristics of our lives. I knew when he was out of a job and he knew the day I lost my boyfriend. It was just a time that we relaxed , we didnt concentrate on previous relationships, we didnt concentrate on future relationships and we never tried to impress each other . We spent time talking about life and life goals, politics and God . We were just two people that just happened to meet and we became two people that enjoyed each others conversation.

After a  year of just talking to one another , I noticed that this man had a little bit more for me than I once knew. I agreed to finally meet him in a general location for dinner. One dinner became a date and pretty soon we were actually seeing one another and it was at last our relationship became  official , we were a couple.  It was an easy transition because we had built a great foundation of friendship and if nothing else we knew how to express our feelings and thoughts because we always had good conversation.

I often laugh about our meeting and our relationship now and the most funny thing about it is, the moment I get so terribly mad at him and want to say all the things that you would like to say but know it’s not so good to say, I remember all of those late night conversations and how easy it is for us to just talk it out . His comforting words allow me to realize why I am here with him today.

I know you are saying , what does this have to do with me finding the one but I have clearly given you some major things to look for in finding the right one. Let’s recap : 1. Get out of your comfort zone and give the person you would least likely consider a chance. 2. Develop a friendship 3. Leave your past relationships in the past 4. Learn that communication is done by talking and 5. Have fun no relationship is worth always being nervous around a person.

Have fun withdating take your time and enjoy the dating moments !

Hello world!

My name is Tesha pronounced Tee sha! I like to introduce myself that way because growing up people found it difficult to say my name. I grew up in Northern Mississippi , my parents were pastors of a church and I feel like because of that I have lived the best life.